Doctor tells me I have high cholesterol....

....so this is what i have to get rid of in my diet.

GUIDELINES FOR LOW-CHOLESTEROL, LOW-TRIGLYCERIDE DIETS


GUIDELINES: FOODS TO AVOID, these foods usually tast great!

MEATS, FISH: Avoid marbled beef, pork, bacon, sausage, and other pork products; fatty fowl (duck, goose); skin and fat of turkey and chicken; processed meats; luncheon meats (salami, bologna); frankfurters and fast-food hamburgers (they're loaded with fat); organ meats (kidneys, liver); canned fish packed in oil.

EGGS: Limit egg yolks to two per week.

FRUITS: Avoid coconuts (rich in saturated fats).

VEGETABLES: Avoid avocados. Starchy vegetables (potatoes, corn, lima beans, dried peas, beans) may be used only if substitutes for a serving of bread or cereal. (Baked potato skin, however, is desirable for its fiber content.)

BEANS: Avoid commercial baked beans with sugar and/or pork added.

NUTS: Avoid nuts. Limit peanuts and walnuts to one tablespoonful per day.

BREADS, GRAINS: Avoid any baked goods with shortening and/or sugar. Commercial mixes with dried egg and whole milk. Avoid sweet rolls, doughnuts, breakfast pastries (Danish), and sweetenecl packaged cereals (the added sugar converts readily to triglycerides).

MILK PRODUCTS: Avoid whole milk and whole-milk packaged goods; cream; ice cream; whole-milk puddings, yogurt, or cheeses; nondairy cream substitutes.

FATS, OILS: Avoid butter, lard, animal fats, bacon drippings, gravies, cream sauces, as well as palm and coconut oils. All these are high in saturated fats. Examine labels on "cholesterol-f'ree" products for "hydrogenated fats." (These are oils that have been hardened into solids and in the process have become saturated.)

DESSERTS, SNACKS: Avoid fried snack foods like potato chips; chocolate; candies in general; jams, ,jellies, syrups, whole-milk puddings, ice cream and milk sherbets; hydrogenated peanut butter.

BEVERAGES: Avoid sugared fruit juices and soft drinks; cocoa made with whole milk and/or sugar. When using alcohol (1 oz liquor, 5 oz beer, or 2 1/2 oz dry table wine per serving), one serving must be substituted for one bread or cereal serving (limit, two servings of alcohol per day).

SPECIAL NOTES:

1. Remember that even nonlimited foods should be used in moderation.

2. While on a cholesterol-lowering diet, be sure to avoid animal fats and marbled meats.

3. While on a triglyceride-lowering diet, be sure to avoid sweets and to control the amount of carbohydrates you eat (starchy foods such as flour, bread, potatoes).

4. Buy a good low-fat cookbook, such as the one published hy the American Heart Association.

5. Consult your physician if you have any questions.

Google to be used by Doctors

On the cover of the newspaper that basically every commuter reads in the morning is an article saying the doctors are now being trained to use Google to find cures to illnesses. In studies, it was found that in seconds a doctor was able to find a diagnosis just by typing in a patient's symptoms. But here is the catch, 40 percent of the searches contained incorrect information. No $hit! I will never go to a doctor again. EVER

Translations

After 2 and a half month and staring down the last 2 weeks before coming back to the US for my first post-move im going to offer some useful translations into English of some common words we use in America. If you catch me using them while im back, forgive me.

knob - Cock

Burgled - To be robbed of property from break in.....Does anyone else besides me think that Burgle should not be a verb?

pissed - Drunk

rubbish - Garbage

Take the piss - Make fun of someone - People here are always taking the piss out of me for my American accent

snog - Make out or hook up, but no sex

shag - Sex

Fit - Hot - She's f*cking fit!

Bird - Girl

Pull - Picking up someone, usually at a bar or other social setting

Pants - Underwear

Trainers - Sneakers

Flat - Apartment

Jumper - Sweater

Bit - Piece or Part - The best bit of a roast is yorkshire pudding

bloke - Guy

Geezer - Guy, but derogatory

Boozer - Pub

Local Boozer - Your local pub

Slag or Slapper - Slut

Dodgy - shady

Five Levels of Hangovers

Courtesy of Lauren


One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. however, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...


***** THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon


***** THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate


***** THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK :
1.) Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2.) Nope, no more booze for me.
3.) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4.) Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
5.) Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
6.) Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

My match last night. It just may shock any of you who have ever played with me....

This is an email from one of the players on the team. You may be surprised to hear that i am playing outside midfield for this team. Yes you heard correctly, MID-FIELD.

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Another victory and revenge is due....

Chips stormed to another victory last night with a 3-0 win over a stubborn Philosophy side. The first half saw Chips have good possession without really threatening, the final pass often going to a red shirt. We did manage to sneak a lead before the break, Colin putting in a good finish after fine work by Matt and Ryan. It took a stroke of genius at half time to improve the situation. I took myself off and Champagne football followed. Suddenly with Jason back in central defence our midfield of Ryan, Pat, Mark and Matt clicked and Chips were dominant. Further goals followed, Mike Forrester marking his debut with a chipped goal and Pat fired home the third after the keeper fumbled a cross. Star of the show was Ryan on the right who showed some great wing play. Also thanks to Keith who volunteered to play straight after a previous 90 mins when Rich was injured.

Captain America, Captain Hollywood, Captain H

Sorry for the lack of posts recently but unfortunately work has been taking a lot of my time. Miss the days where i could watch you tube all day......

Anyways so recent noteworthy happenings:

Friday night - Went to dinner and had my first steak in a long, long time. Rib-eye. It was very tasty. After dinner went to see the movie THe Departed and in true fat-boy fashion i ordered a hot dog 20 mins after finishing a steak dinner. I have a problem i think....After the movie decided not to go boozing and wanted to be fresh for my game saturday. Would be the first time in a month i didnt show up to a game after a night of drinking.

Sat morn wake up. Cook myself some scrambled eggs and toast and have a banana to start the day which looks like its going to be a nice one as the sun shines through my living room window. Have a cup of coffee and then head off to my game. Ill make this quick. Not going out the night before didnt really matter. We lost to the league leaders 3-0 on 3 crap goals. Status quo for our team actually....

Sat night, head out with Good ole Steve-o and go to watch some dog racing. Have some drinks there, lose a couple races then head off to the bar for some real drinking. After a couple more Vodka Lemonades (Sprite) and a shot of sambuca, head back to Steve's for some after party boozing and 3 of us (Me, Steve, and Jodi) pass out steve's bed (and no there was no 3-way action). Wake up the next morning at 8 and decide its time to head home to my own bed but as im leaving, steve's Kiwi flat mate Amanda and her visiting kiwi friend Ang, are getting ready...yes getting ready at 8 am...and they say they are going to a club and that i am going with them. IT really doesnt take much convincing really as i could only say no once before i caved. I mean really, am i going to say no 2 kiwi women trying to get me to go out with them? I think not! So anyway we take a cab to the club and it is PACKED. DJ, bar, poeple dressed in halloween costumes. Great times, but to be sure the amount of drugs being used in this place has to be out of control. Sure enough i look over and there is a line of coke being set up a booth around the corner....I danced, had 2 beers and a shot of tequila, and two hours later i decide to leave and go home. Exhausted and hungry, i make the horrible decision of MacD's breakfast sandwich (i have eaten more macdonalds here in 2 months than i had in 2 years back in the States). After the sandwich - delicious btw - I get on the tube to head home. Of course i fall asleep and miss my stop and dont wake up until i get to the end of the line so i have to wait for the next train to come and bring back to my original destination. What a disaster...I sleep for the next 3 hours before getting up and showering heading back up north to Islington to celebrate Liam's Bday (and also have ANOTHER meal cooked for me).

Liam, one of Lou's 4 flatmates, is a very funny irishmen who has given me the nickname Captain America, and then evolved it into Captain Hollywood, which was then shortened into just Captain H. Why? I have no idea, but the nickname is a hit as the ENTIRE house and next door neighbours call me Captain H or America....

Nonsense In my Building...

I unfortunately joined a mailing list for my flat...Check out this string of emails. Know that the picture in question is of a guy in a leather outfit lying on his bed holding his dong. Its pretty sick. I got the note too...

And i live in flat 611. Nowhere near this nonsense

***
Did anyone else get a message under their door which made allegations against someone on the second floor and had a rather intimate image on it? The message left me very concerned about both who sent it and about the person in question....

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I didn't get anything...what did it say? I'd like to know if there's someone on the second floor whom i should be concerned about.


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Basically there were 2 photos of a resident on there, one of the guy looking normal and one of him looking a bit trashed while lying naked on a bed with a load of leather/fetish gear on.

There was text accusing him of being a pervert, taking drugs, specifically cocaine, and that he was hiv+.

Now shall we say I've heard lots of noises coming from the particular room so the fact that he is sexually...interesting is not a surprise to put it tactfully. Not sure what to think about the rest though. I'm even more worried if I was the only person to get it for some reason.

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That is very odd. Hopefully some more people will say whether or not they have recieved anything similar. I guess it's not so much the content of the note, (people are free to do as they please so long as doesn't effect others), it's more of a worry that you recieved it in the first place.

Maybe you could post the note under the door of the person in question with a note of your own explaining what has happened? I can't think of what else to do.

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The follwing is just my unasked for opinion.

Perhaps it's only fair to discuss this with the person in the picture rather than us lot.

Sounds like a domestic dispute gone wrong and perhaps it's illegal to put stuff like this under neighbours' doors so I suppose your neighbour could go to the police if they wanted to make a big deal out of it.

Anway if someone takes drugs or dresses up in latex that's their own business. Being noisy arguably isn't.

Other people's drama is always diverting, though, isn't it?

Maybe I should get out more.

R

--------------------------------------------
Hi, >>

We don't live on the second floor so did not receive anything under our door. Thus, this is also my unasked opinion. It clearly sounds that this is an Ex- girlfriend/boyfriends act of revenge on a completely innocent neighbour and it is also a very personal matter. It is also a crime to intimidate anyone like this. It is also clear that some people are making uninformed judgements on here where they really should know better. What other people get up to in the privacy of their own homes is no one else's business and if you have received an unpleasant letter/photo then the decent thing to do would to privately let that poor person know about it instead of gossiping on here about it. I can imagine getting something like this under my door could be unpleasant but for people to insinuate that anyone who dresses up in fetish wear and who clearly enjoys fun sex is some how perverted and should I say "tactfully" up to no good, just basically says more about them and their sad boring sex lives and should quickly transport themselves back to Victorian times.


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Everyone, first of all, apologies on behalf of my flatmate for this. I'm the owner of flat 216 and it's my flatmate who was pictured in the printout slipped under your door. I received it wednesday night in my letterbox and it was also slipped under my door, I confronted my flatmate on wednesday night over this and he said that it's from someone he has recently broken up with as he has also been getting abusive messages form the same person.

I'd like to emphasize that, knowing my flatmate for the last year, the allegations on the printout are not true (at least since I've known him) and were used specifically for the intention of creating damage to his reputation. he does not take drugs (except alchohol occasionally) and is not HIV+ regarding his sexual leanings, that's frankly his business, not mine or anyone elses.

I'd also like to mention to the residents of flat 215 (i presume it's yourselves that wrote the message since you are the only flat that have an ajoining wall with mine) that have written this posting that frankly, what I or my flatmate do in my own place is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
THIS:

"Now shall we say I've heard lots of noises coming from the particular room so the fact that he is sexually...interesting is not a surprise to put it tactfully."

...IS COMPLETELY OUT OF ORDER!! As long as it does not involve any illegal activity ie, drug abuse, crime etc (which it most definitely doesn't) and it does not harm other residents in regards to noise levels etc (which as far as I know doesn't) you have no right to make these kind of statements.

Unfortunately this incident could have happened to anyone, and lets face it, can we all say that we've ended every single relationship on a happy note? ( I seem to recall someone on the 5th floor had an egg stuffed in their letterbox not so long ago?) After talking to him about what went on with this situation there is no way that he could have contolled this or prevented this - especially as it's so easy to gain entry to the building. Once again I am deeply sorry that this person has involved other people (including myself) into this problem and sorry on his behalf that people had to see the images on the printout (me included). He will be coming round to apologise personally to the residents near my flat tonight. Additionally, he will be leaving at the end of the month anyway (not due to this issue) but because he has bought a place of his own

regards,
Nathan Stewart
(owner of flat 216)

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Firstly Nathan, no I do not live in flat 215, or indeed on the second floor.

Secondly, I'm annoyed that people are accusing me of being some kind of prude for being tactful. Maybe when you're the one lying there on Sunday morning listening to voices from flat 216 begging some guy to rape him and use him, then you'll start getting a bit prudish.

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since it seems as though this issue is resolved maybe we can all happily let it go without contributing any more bad feeling to the discussion


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I should like to remind residents that if they have a noise problem from one of their neighbours then what they should do in the first instance is approach them privately about it. They probably are totally unaware that others can hear them. Again this wed-site should not be used to sort out personal matters/disputes.

> >

For the attention of "Itookthisaddress", if you truly thought someone was being raped then you should have called the police but I'm sure this is not the case. Again I should like to remind you that what other people get up to in their own sex lives and the privacy of their own homes is their own business. If you have a noise problem then follow my advice and let your neighbour know about it privately. Please do not use this web-site for malice gossip or bad mouthing. It is not the place for it.

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As a final note to "itookthisaddress" and in addition to the previous message from ray burnside, if you did have a problem with noise you should have contacted me first. the last few messages you've written on here have been personal and simply written to try(unsuccessfully) to embarrass me/my flatmate. It seems that all it's doing is to put YOU in a negative light amongst the other residents here and showing YOU to be a rather nasty and spiteful person.

Flat 215 is the only flat that ajoins to mine as the rest of my flat borders on the entrance hall and the 2nd floor corridor flats above and below are protected by a rather thick layer of concrete. if in the unlikely event that you are not from 215 then at least have the courage to speak to me face to face or to name yourself. As I previously mentioned, if there was a noise problem it should have been brought to my attention long ago and I would have happily turned down music etc if that was the case. I can't rectify a complaint if I don't know about it!

This incident is not something my flatmate could have possibly prevented but he is doing everything in his power right now to rectify the situation. This is a personal matter between my flatmate, his ex and now the police, who I am sure, will sort the problem out. As mentioned before, I regret that this situation has affected other people in the building as well as myself but it is nothing that could have been prevented, and my flatmate is currently making sure that this won't happen again
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Residents of Courtenay House,

My name is Peter Stafford and I would firstly like to apologise to all those who received flyers with my name on them on Wednesday.

The messages on these flyers are false. This, as my flat mate Nathan has said, has been done by an ex bearing a grudge after a break up, who is only trying to make life difficult for me.

I have reported this matter to the police who are currently investigating this, and will be charging the person(s). responsible. I am to say the least, embarrased due to the delicate nature of the photograph, and would particularly like to apologise to any familes who received this with kids in the house.

If anybody has any information about this, or saw someone in the building on Wednesday, or even just wants to talk to somebody about any concerns about this, please contact the police and quote the Crime Reference number at the top of this note, and they will be happy to take your calls.

Although I may sound indignant with this note, my first priority is to make sure that this does not happen again I'm sure you will understand.

Many Thanks

The joy of commuting

Just saw a lady fall flat on her face while walking. No one around her, but still managed to face plant as she walked into a restaurant. I may be cruel but that is HILARIOUS!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Footie, Beer, Tiger, Reggie Bush, Late night eats, Hip-hop concert, Wine, Man U, and a Home Cooked Meal

What else could I ask for?

This past weekend was a good one. Saturday morning played in a footie match. This was the 2nd team from the club I had mentioned previously, Brentnal FC. From the start i can tell it will be a whole new ball game - these guys could actually put a couple passes together.

The game goes well for me, despite being given a red card in the final ten minutes after arguing a TERRIBLE call in which the referee gives a goal to the other team saying that the ball went over the goal line. As our goalkeep gathered the ball, one of their players even joked about it being a goal as he clearly knew it wasn't.

First off, he was in NO position to make the call in the first place, and if you do make this call, have the balls to stand behind and make the call definitively. When he made the call, he blew his whistle very feigntly causing everyone to look around and question what the hell was going on. When he pointed to the center circle (indicating a goal) I lost my mind. After yelling at him for about 30 seconds, even reenacting part of the game action, I finished my day on the pitch telling him "that was f*cking terrible and you know it!" He instantly red carded me. Of course i think its b*llsh!t, but i walk off the field without saying a word and watch my team finish the last 10 mins of the game with 10 men. Luckily they are able to preserve the draw.

After the game, players on my team lobby to get the Red card and subsequent suspension reversed. As they plead with the ref i walk over to talk to the ref. All he says is that he wants an apology. An apology?!? What kind of ref is this? (I think he has been watching too much Dr. Phil) Being a referee is no job for the sensitive. Of course i apologize and he agrees to revoke the Red so I am able to play next week. In fact, he names me the Man of the Match. HA. I seriously laughed in his face when he told me. Why red card me, then? Just tell me to shut up. I need that sometimes as we all know.

Now that things are all good, we head over to the pub and have a few pints. Getting to know the guys, i definitely think this is the team i will be playing for. Decent player and decent guys. I will know for sure after this weekend's game and night out. It's a team night out for dinner, clubs, and most likely some debauchery....

Saturday night i joined my next door neighbors (a young couple in their mid twenties ) at a Jurassic 5 concert sandwiched by trips to the bar and fast food. Before the concert i didnt have time to eat so i grabbed a quick chicken wrap and chips before heading into the bar for pregame drinks. Then after the concert we went to the bar for a couple drinks, then to MacD's for double quarter pounders. Disgusting, i know, but such a good idea at the time...

Sunday morning i played in another football match, but was decieved by the organiser into think that i would be playing in a 'good match' after blatently telling him that i wanted no part of a 3rd team game. I found out after the match that it was the 3rd, not that i couldnt tell during it. This team was only a couple notches better than last week's 3rd team squad and that only becuase there were actually a few athletes in the team. But as far as proper football minds, there were none. So i guess in two ways the joke was on me, first by having to play on a second week on a 3rd team after 100% expressing my interest in not wanting to do so, and second by for the 3rd game in a row making some ridiculous mistake and affecting the game. This time I tripped a guy in the box - ever so slightly and he came crashing down - and gave them a penalty kick. I wanted to walk off the field right then, not becuase i was embarrassed about the penalty kick. I could care less, but for the fact that once again, despite thinking that the rest of the the guys on the field wouldnt have even made my high school JV team, i am the idiot that Fs up the way i did (e.g. penalty kick and own goal (see posting "Saturday's Footie Match")). These guys were terrible and i was giving them reason to think i was as well! Ahhhh. I will NEVER play for them again. Did i mention that the game was at 10:30am? Im an idiot for even showing!

Things turned for the better that evening as I was invited to a home cooked meal (fish pie) and a day of sports with the boys. I do miss those days. We also played a game of 'Articulate' which a version of Scattagories. I completely failed at this game - although we came in second - because its all based on UK/European information. As the lone American in the game i was yes the center of many a joke. And the one time i get someone that I think everyone knows, my teammate Lou, couldnt guess it despite the stellar clues of "Four score, seven years ago" and "freed the slaves" and "American president". Oh well. Cant win them all i guess.

All in all, a great weekend.

Commuting Disaster

Is it bad that the first thing i want to drink when i get into the office is a tall Ketel One on the rocks and not the traditional coffee?

Getting to work today was a nightmare. This morning I recieved a text message (of course i did) from Transport For London - TFL, as I do every morning when there is a delay or something going on with the Tube. Normally it is something like 'minor delays on the Victoria line', but today it was 'SEVERE delays on the Victoria Line due to signal failure at Brixton'. In seeing that, i decide to go an alternate route to work on the Northern line to Waterloo, then the on the Waterloo and City to Bank, and then from Bank to St. Paul's. May be a little more out of the way but at least i wouldnt be sitting at a tube stup for a long time, right? WRONG!

My first stop on the tube was Clapham Common - Clapham is an area known for its young professionals who commute into the City. To make a long story short, i was at this station for about 30 mins. Each train that passed by, one every 3 mins had commuters packed in tight like sardines, nearly burst out of the door as soon as it would open. Sad thing is that they probably had another 5/6 stops to go until they could actually get off. As for the people, like me, waiting to get on the tube witnessing it and waiting to get on themselves, it was the ultimate waiting game. As each tube passed by, we would hope this one would be less crowded but to no avail. It was actually pretty funny to see only one or two people actually able to get on the packed subway as many many more waited it out.

I finally got on after moving further down the platform and squeezed myself on the tube. You would actually think this a good way to meet people as you are literally so close to them you can tell them what they had for breakfast (and maybe even dinner in some cases), but everyone is so angry about the situation they angrily read their paper and try to make it seem as if no one else is going thru the same thing with thme. Bollocks I say. I had a smile on my face the whole time. To me its hilarious. What we do to make a buck. Unbelievable!

HA

Saturday's Footie Match

This past Saturday I played on a 3rd team. Playing on any third just isnt my thing but i figured i would play, see how they were, and hopefully move up the ladder to the first or 2nd squad next week. I mean i am obviously not God's gift to the sport but there is no way i am playing on any rec team's 3rd level squad. I might as well hang up the boots if it get to that point....

From the start of warm-ups i knew this was going to be a tough day. We did one touch passing in a line; the type of drills i did to warm up in 7th grade. To be honest, that wasnt the problem. The problem was that the ball was spewing EVERYWHERE. Maybe it was the ball....no. Maybe it was the pitch....no. Maybe it was the skill level....YES. Bad choice on one touch passing Capi...

Anyway the game starts with me at center back and within 5 minutes im already jawing with the huge stump of a forward on the other team. He is about 5'8'' 240 pounds and wearing Studs on possibly the hardest ground I have ever played on. For some credibility on this fact, thier other forward is wearing turf shoes! So, after the guy cleats me leaving me gushing blood with you HUGE flesh revealing gashes in my shin i ask the guy what the hell his purpose is wearing studs. I guess he didnt speak english cuz he just looked at me like a retard and didnt respond.

Five minutes later i am jawing with another player. As a ball rolls out of bounds i shield it to make sure he doesnt get to it. Out of frustration the jerk-off lays one into my already injured left ankle and i fall to th ground with a yell. When i get up i commence to $hit talking to the moron and threaten him with "ok number 6, just wait till you get the ball next". Yeah im a tough guy...

Five minutes after that, I leisurely play a ball to the left back because there is no pressure. As the ball is getting to the left back, one of thier players runs in and kicks and pushes me. So of course i talk $hit and push him back. In some weird accent he talks shit back. I cant understand him, but im sure he understood me when the ball went to the other side of the field and i tripped the A-hole to the ground. I ran away as if nothing happened. Their entire team is in uproar. Im laughing my a$$ off as all these fat bastards run and get into my face, some pushing me some just yelling. Lucky for me the ref liked me, cuz i didnt get a card or anything. They were the ones getting the warnings. HA.

But, unfortunately the joke was on me 10 mins later when, as i was tracking back to cut off a square pass to a wide open centre forward about 25 yards out, I drilled a toe poke clearance into the upper ninety of my own net. Brilliant finish, unfortunately it was an own goal. I coule only laugh at myself for scoring an own goal while at the same time playing along side a bunch of people who could hardly walk and chew gum at the same time. What a joke i was....

And yes this was all in the first 25-30 minutes of the game. The second half was less exciting. Without me causing any BS in the second half, we had to resort to just playing football. Ouch. Disaster. Talk about frustration. I dont think we strung more than 2 passes together. I think the last coed team i played on had better players on it. Including the women.

We ended up losing the game 2-0 but it was much worse than that. It was embarrasing. Good news is I got notice that I was called up to the 2nd team via email on Monday morning. Lets see how it goes next week....

Tough day for American Footballers in England

For Carlos Bocanegra & of Fulham and Claudio Reyna & Demarcus Beasley of Manchester City, last night was one to forget.

In the Fulham match - a Carling Cup competition, Bocanegra was penalised for taking down an opposing player in the box resulting in a penalty. His side lost 1-0.

For Reyna, his struggles continue for Man City. His poor attempt at a clearance lead to a wicked volley of a game-winning goal, sending Man City home and out of the cup down 2-1. Demarcus Beasley was one of two subs not used.

Both of these losses were shocking as Man City and Fulham are both Premiership sides, while their competition hail from the lower leagues.

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Haarlem and Amsterdam - Bikes, Bridges, Boobs

A quick weekend trip to Holland (my first time in continental Europe) forced me to wake up at un godly hours of the morning. Saturday morning woke up at 3:30 to catch a 7am flight. The journey to the airport (2 hrs) took longer than the actual flight (1 hr). Although, we did sit on the runway before take off for a long time before leaving. I fell asleep (surprise surprise) before take off and woke up thinking we had already landed in Holland. Yeah we hadnt even taken off yet lol. No problem. Just more sleep for me! Anyway, finally land in Eindhoven, get through customs and Im in Holland. For real! Head to a place called Haarlem. I small city with a very European feel. Cafe's surrounding an open square area with a pair of churches on either side. Have a little lunch in one of the Cafes - Insalata Caprese, which has become my new favorite meal without readily available buffalo tenders. From there I take a bus to a Bloemendaal Beach. Unfortunately, I was wearing jeans and not board shorts, but fortunately this beach was clothing optional. JACKPOT! Saw lots of...yeah. As i would find out more in my trip to Amsterdam, the Dutch are very open.

So the Trip to Amsterdam was great. Coffee shops and red light windows. Rolling and smoking joints in the bar. Sex shows and museums galore. Ladies, if your man isnt treating you right and you need a toy - this is the place to be. Fellas, if you have the money, you can have the woman of your dreams...at least for 15 mins! That said, lets get one thing straight - all the smoking and legalized prostitution - I had no part in it. Wanted to go to a show though, not gonna lie, but didnt think it would be worth 50 Euro to do so...

Amsterdam is a great city. From its Museum district where there is a small man-made pond where artists are painting masterpieces to be sold for Thousands of Euros as potential buyers watch to the busy shopping area (where most native Dutch spend their time in the City) to the Red Light District where a person's apartment or a restaurant can be right next door to a red light window where business is conducted. Oh yeah, forgot to mention two things: One - The city has so many rivers/canals running throughout that Amsterdam has about 1000 bridges (i think thats what the man said) and EVERYONE rides a bike. Its pretty amazing actually. Everywhere you turn there are loads of people on bikes - I even got hit by a lady on one....

Netherlands - 9-16_17-06

Sep 16, 2006 - 73 Photos

Memories from home..

Does this one REALLY need a comment? I think not...

  

Memories of Home....

Some GA love from abroad...


Lroxe...

 

And our friend Jack Jones. For some reason its appropriate that he is represented in Amsterdam...

  

Memories of home

Joe Shives introduced me to this beer. I ended up passed out in the streets of Greenwich....No, kidding...i did get F'd up though. Very strong beer my friends...


  

Tube Song....

Due to my most recent commuting experiences the comedy provided by this song is incredible and very true

London Underground Song

A Change of Plans

On a Saturday where I was going to be spending the day looking at the Queen's dresses on display at Buckingham Palace, I ended up in Greenwich eating a traditional English Pie!!!

Meet up with Lou and Liv (LL), my tour guidesses (is that a word?)outside Green Park tube station around 11:00am. As I get out of the tube i have no idea who I am looking, as I have never met Lou - a friend of a friend of a friend, so i just look for a pair of women. Luckily she calls right as i get off the tube and are able to pick me out before i picked them out (and also before I embarrass myself by approaching any pair of women in the street!)

So we start our walk to the Palace through Green Park and start to get to know each other - Lou reveals that she is hungover after an unexpected drunken night. Already I know we will get along just fine...(even though earlier in the week she did insult me by telling me the sport I have played since i was 5 is "rubbish" and a sport played by "thugs")

So we get to Buckingham Palace and queue up(in American that means wait in line) to get into the Palace. After waiting about 5 mins we find out that the tix we are to buy are only for a 3pm entry. Given that its barely noon, we decide a change of plans is in order.

After short deliberation, we decide to walk through St. James' Park toward Westminster and take a boat ride to Greenwich (not the one in CT, but rather this one The Original Greenwich).

The boat ride is great, giving a great view of many of London's attractions from a unique point of view from the River Thames. The ride concludes with a stop at the Famous Greenwich pier where the Ship Cutty Sark)resides. This place called Greenwich is also where I experienced my first truly English meal. After Liv nearly fainted seeing the Pie house, i figured i owed it to her to try it. After all, I have a few food items that i am just as passionate it about and also try to push onto other - buffalo tenders for instance. At that point I knew Liv and I would get along great. And although, I did pass on the even more English authentic eels offered, I did take advantage of the Chicken and Mushroom pie with Mash. And yes, it tastes as good as it sounds, DELICIOUS, surprisingly enough my friends...

After eating, we then head up to the Observatory from where all time is measured. Yes Greenwich Mean time. Up on the hill there provides a spectacular view of the City and river. We chill there for a while before heading back to the City.

My night consisted of cooking dinner and crashing by 10 pm, while LL both had party nights...Am i getting old?!

Pics from the day below....

Boat Trip to Greenwich (w LL)

Sep 9, 2006 - 100 Photos

Walks of London - South Bank (#32)

Walks of London - South Bank - #32

Sep 2, 2006 - 38 Photos

Episode 1 -

The walk down the south bank of the river is very calming and relaxing. From various points on the walk, you are gifted with great views of the river and its numerous bridges, each bridge with its own history and fascinating architecture (Calah you should appreciate it). The walk ends with the famous St. Paul's Cathedral. The old church is massive and is always flooded with people. This is also right around my office where I work everyday.

Sight Seeing in London - August 27

Sight Seeing in London - August 27

Aug 26, 2006 - 55 Photos

What a strange night....

5:00 pm - Leave work. Headed to Maida Vale to play some footie (soccer)

5:45 pm - Get to Maida Vale field. Team is no where to be found (game starts at 6)

6:00 pm - Team shows

6:07 pm - I brought my own boots but was unable to use them on the new turf field just installed. So have to resort to borrowing some shoes from a teammate. These are NOT soccer boots. The soles are like 2 inches thick and i know im in for some trouble. Add that to the fact they play me at right midfield...

6:08 pm - Kick-off

6:09 pm - First touch in 3 weeks. A nice one. Take the ball from a thrown and bring it down smoothly with the thigh and play it back. Good start

6:11 pm - Second touch. Ball swung wide to me on a break and i am tackled from behind (probably a clean play). I yell and get the call. Teammates love it already

6:13 pm - Running down a ball on the sideline. Their player gets to the ball first and saves it. As i turn around i twist my ankle. The same ankle i did in 2 months ago. It hurts like hell. I cant even move. I feel like im going to throw-up and cry all at the same time. I wanna break something. I played 5 mins

7:00 pm - After watching the rest of the half and thanking the team for the stellar 5 minute run, i hobble my way back to the tube for a miserable commute back home on one leg

8:00 pm - Get home. Cook dinner. Planned on baking some chicken and cooking up some pasta. Pasta worked out, chicken didnt. I have no idea how to work the oven, known over here as the cooker. The name is so simple isnt? Its functions are not.

9:00 pm - Get in bed to finish Tuesdays With Morrie (while icing the fat ankle i have)

9:40 pm - A couple welcomed phone call interruptions from the states stunt the reading excercise a bit

11:00 pm - back to reading and im determined to finish the book. Only about 40 pps left

11:05 pm - Hear some yelping from outside my window. I look to find out what it is. Look out my window and look all around. Cant see or hear anything. Back to reading.

11:20 pm - Hear the same sound again. Go back to the window and look again. More observant this time i look down and see in the window to the right and below me, a computer screen...rocking porn. Can hardly make it out, but it si definitely porn. But no people. And I know what i heard was a person so i move to the living room and look out the window. Ill let you guess what i saw in their living room....

11:30 pm - Shut all doors and windows. Finish Tuesdays With Morrie and go to bed. Its a great book and will make you look at your personal relationships in a new light....

Memories of Home.....

In honour of our friend Mike Flood....


  

Memories of Home......

Number 2 in the series is dedicated to our little friend Connie...You will often here her saying things like Tasty treats, Smokey treats, Snacky treats. This isnt the same but it has the desired effect right?


  

Memories of Home....

I have decided to start a recurring 'segment', if you will, to my blog. Any time i see something that reminds me of home I plan to take a pic and post it. The first on the list is for our friend Christina Hale...aka C Hale, aka Chale. Enjoy

  

ALERT TO ALL WOMEN

Sex Kills -

Just saw an artice in The Sun (a very reputable publication) that making love causes cancers to spread. Ladies don't any man convince you to get busy, its detrimental to your health

Just looking out,
Ryan


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Notting Hill Carnival

the 850,000 Pound car....And i mean Sterling not in terms of weight

So apparently this car is owned by a prince of the UAE. There are only 20 in the world and is the fastest road car in the world. 260 miles and hour. The Burgatti Veryon. It has 1001 horsepower!!! Dont believe me?

http://www.edmunds.com/insideline/do/Features/articleId=108032

My life is over....

Google SMS doesn't work from London!!!!

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First experience at a London KFC

Things learned:

Drinks are served without ice unless asked for

There are very few choices for meals. About 4

The fries have no salt and are otherwise terrible (still crushed them all)

They don't serve mashed potatoes OR biscuits!! Probably the reason I go to KFC in the US

Tax is already included in the price that is shown on the menu boards

They still use genetically enhanced birds. 'Chicken' is no where to be found on the menu (that's for you B Dizzle)

Lastly, its still tastes as good as it sounds...DELICIOUS!!


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So this is the new flat

What ya think?

Bad News...

Found out this morning that the flat i wanted is only to be let to a female! After 2 days of back and forth he now reveals this critical bit of information. Bollocks!! Apparently a couple had also put in an offer for the place and they were also denied. Dont feel so bad then i guess but WTF?! He probably should have made this known a tad bit earlier dont you think?

Equal rights my A$$. Damn Title IX....

Sloane Apartments

You now know where i sleep...(at least for the next 2 weeks)